Topical Target Tuesday

Today would be the day when I'd feature a special guild member on the front page of the website. I'd post interesting facts about them, most of which I'd make up, and I'd put up screenshots of them doing fun and exciting things. It'd be awesome, intellectual and witty, yet at the same time it'd be silly and light hearted. You'd enjoy reading it. However, none of my guildmates send me screencaps. No stories, no helpful advice. Nothing.

So, instead, today's target is Cheese.

Mmm, cheese.

We all know that cheese is a delightful dairy product, but how much do you really know about this delectable fromage that goes so well with crackers:

If you want to really understand cheese, you have to go to the source, and I'm not talking about sticking my head up a cow's butt. No, cheese is essentially curdled milk, so to understand the journey that cheese makes from the farm to your plate, you must understand the curds themselves.

Where curds are from: The curds come mostly from the middle east, and their lands range from pockets in Turkey to as far east as Iran. They have traditionally been repressed and feared by the leadership in the countries they live in. However, with the liberataion of Iraq, curds have gained new standing in the international community. A curdish leader, Jalal Talabani, came to prominence as the president of Iraq, which is quite good for spoilt milk. Before this time, the best spoiled milk had managed to accomplish was a senate seat from Wyoming.

Curds are then allowed to age with bacteria, which is a type of very small fish. This is why cheese often smells bad. After aging, cheese is often melted in a cooking pot, and bits of other foods such as apples, bread, and meats are cooked in it. This type of cooking via sampling many different flavors in one dish helped give America it's nickname "The Great Fondue-land". This is not surprising, since America makes the best cheese, though oddly the best cheese America makes isn't American cheese, and American cheese is a type of cheese that takes like crap, much like velveeta and cheeze wiz, which was conceived as a method of removing biological waste. France also makes cheese, but nobody cares.

Next week, maybe someone'll send me in some damn pictures to talk about. Oh, and some expansion got released today - see:French Cheese.

Posted by at February 21, 2006 11:41 AM