Teluas won an orb

Big friggin whoop.

No one wants some orb that's been shoved in some box up Warden Hanvar's ass anyway. Glad you had a nice day. La di da. We're all SOOOO impressed.

Oh, and Teluas? Your my little pony had an "accident" last night.

Pity.

Congratulations Wizace!

Note, the above image is an artist's rendering

Congratulations Wizace on being Underguild's first level 75! Shockingly, Underguild had a strong surge in caster levels, as the hive was turned into one big ball of burning magic energy this weekend. As for gimpy melee, congratulations to Fung for being the first melee to catch up with our explosive brethren.

If you are concerned about finding the time to play to get to 75 yourself, never fear, for our top secret guide to 70+ in only minutes a day, is just a click away!

Do you want to raid like an uber but don't have the time?

Do you need exp but don't have the skills to get it?

Underguild says: Worry no more! YOU can be uber too!

It's the secret that those OTHER guilds are too afraid to tell you about! You can level with NO RISK at all! The secret is right in your very own home towns!

The secret is NEWBIE QUESTS! All you need is patience and 4,723,120,124 bone chips! (Or only 4,712,201,367 crushbone pads!)

Zarkane, pictured to the left, uses his new found high level uber spells to farm crushbone like a champ. Don't you wish you could join him?

But don't take my word for it, look at these happy customers!

Qiara, dwarf cleric:

I started turning in bone chips when I began playing in 2002. At first, I just used them to top off levels. Now, I can level with hardly any time spent at all! Only a few hours of turning in bone chips a day can give me dramatic results. Thanks Underguild!

Picklenaught, gnome shadowknight

I didn't used to think I could play with the big boys. Being evil, it's hard to find people who will trust you to group with you. Then I found bone chips. It took all the work out of EverQuest, and now I gain levels questing, like you are supposed to! And I earn valuable Kaladim faction! Thanks Underguild!

BONUS TIP: You can get bone chips practically free! You just need to buy stacks of rations and necros can make you bone chips with their Flesh to Bone AA! UBAH! You'll be leveling in no time!

Join Underguild today for more UBER secrets to leveling!

All you ever wanted to know about The Serpent's Spine

But were afraid to ask! For answer to all your questions about the upcoming expansion, click on!

Ha ha ha, like I care what your questions are. Wait till tomorrow like everyone else, and read the patch message. Screw you, loser.

Our First Fight With OMM