...doesn't make it cool to pick on people who are "special". I'm a bit ashamed of our guild. Just because we're sitting around all bitter because our families don't want us to come hang out with them for the holidays does not give us the right to go pick one some poor guys with an endocrine problem. Sadly, that's exactly what we did last night.
I'm embarassed to admit that we were sitting around in the guild hall, boozing it up, and things got a little out of hand. One thing led to another, and we went off in search of trouble. Next thing you know, we're kicking Cordagan Boulderfist's ass for being differently abled. Pushing leads to shoving, shoving leads to fighting, and suddenly, the poor guy is dead on the floor and Aoyafrog is looking for his crotch.
Who knows how these things happen? Maybe one of Cordagan's friends made fun of how small we are, and we made fun of how big his head is, and someone got personal. I don't know. The really disappointing thing is that it didn't end there. We didn't even let the guy put down his drink. I'm shocked to say it didn't end there either.
After that, we went stumbling drunkenly around town, generally raising a ruckus, and came across some bum sleeping off a hangover. Then we put him to sleep for good. (Then Aoyafrog violated his nether regions, but that's a different story. Seriously, Aoya, get some help man.)
What can we learn from all this unnecessary carnage? Woman, bake your man some pie. Men, call your mothers. We have to bring the family back into the holidays, or this kind of senseless violence will just spin out of control. We have end the cycle, and we need to end it now. Who wants a big naked family hug?
I call dibs on hugging Tigger and Kami.
As we all know, a new kill means a new picture of Aoyafrog molesting something. Seriously, what is it with him and crotches? I think he's got mother issues. Think about it, he's surrounded by people who were live births all day long, that's got to get to someone who was hatched out of an egg.
You may feel some slight pressure.
Sure, Bloodeye is a nice kill, and that puts us a step closer to demiplanes, but damn it, I hate Vishimtar. I mean, I hate him. I really, really hate him. Vishimtar can suck my balls, just really get in there with a good tongue thrashing after I've gone for a nice jog in sweats on a sunny day. I hate Vishimtar.
Why won't you die Vishimtar? It's that curse thing, right? You're touchy about the curse? Well I got news for you buddy, you aren't the first dragon that's been cursed and you won't be the last. You need to get over that shit, lay down and die, and let me cut your eye out. Yar'lir didn't seem to think it was that big of a deal.
So cut it out, Vish. You're making us look bad. I hate looking bad, and I hate Vishimtar. God I hate Vish.
Fortunately, Bardaorm loves me more than than the RNG does and passed (of course, I made him reroll for the tie breaker and lost, naturally -- all is still right with the world). And some of you people out there say homosexuality is a sin. I say, giving the warriors those quickies put a 2.0 in my hand, so it's totally worth it.
So here's, me, my hero Bardaorm, and my beautiful 2.0
Doesn't Bardaorm look happy to have helped! What a guy! But, because I'm modest and don't want it to be all about me, here's a list of the people who didn't think it was worth passing to me:
1. Nobody
2. Zastrow "My pet is a sloot" (Necro)
3. Straxx "D J Dies A LOT !"(Bard)
4. Kamikazy "hawt ass wife!"(Monk)
5. Zolords "Soilder to teh end" (Druid)
6. Dirvani "Maybe you might stop dying now" (Mage)
7. Samaa "My stick is huge" (Wizard)
8. Aoyafrog " I should change my surname to AFK" (Paladin)
9. Zarvix "sirfdsalot" (monk)
10. Plinko "I r Spell Gooder" (Paladin)
11. Aceatol "Slaymaster" (Paladin)
12. Fernod "OMG I need buffs plzthx" (warrior)
13. Egdoid " FU no PI for JOO" (Enchanter)
14. Khaotyk "fear my big mean totem" (Beastlord)
15. Tolas "omg I suck!" (Cleric)
16. Woujing "Labor day Pwnd ME!" (Monk)
17. Teluas "help my dainty ass pick this $%&* sword up!" (Paladin)
18. Jizma " I WIN.. at dying" (Monk)
19. Fung "my army could cast an episode of M*A*S*H " (Monk)
20. Boodleboo "my name is so cool, you wish it was yours too!" (Warrior)
21. Zhuol "They need gnome sized buns for cook -outs" (Shaman)
22. Gariyn "My avatar is in better shape than me" (Beastlord)
22. Tarrin "I tried to hug a thorn bush and lost" (Druid)
23. Zarkane " I have a gnome sized mana cannon in ma pants" (Wizard)
24. DrToad "My surname should really be OBGYN" (Cleric)
25. Brekthar "My underwear says "Got HT?" on the back" (Shadow Knight)
26. Lolan "Loyal like lassie fighting a Grizzly bear" (Ranger)
27. Naafy "If I live, I do great DPS and make julien fries" (Berserker)
28. Sasslevoy "i got more CHA than a hawt news anchor" (Enchanter)
29. Rantogin "I make blood boil.. literally" (Necromancer)
30. Sloughfegg "Touch of the wicked is in my pants" (Shadow Knight)
31. Chakku "Going down like Anna Nicole Smith at 50Cent Tequila Night" (Monk)
32. Kruphex "I summon the power of fruity pebbles" (Magician)
For those of you keeping score, thats;
Ass monkey child molestors: 32
Cool people: 1
It's important to know where you stand.
