Underguild Shaman Becomes Hideous Creature!
The Underguild Tattler has received credible eye witness reports that a local shaman has breached the hoary depths of the shadowy spirit world and produced a totem that brings disease and pestilence on all those near. What she didn't expect was that the totem would transform her into a horrible monster!
A group member delivered this picture of her terrifying transformation (left)!
Her guild members were interviewed for their reactions:
"It's an improvement, really, " said an anonymous paladin, "I hope she stays that way."
Other members were equally terrified, "I turn around and there was Adonnax," said Zhuol, a guild officer and fellow shaman, "I didn't notice anything wrong at first."
More details will be reported as events warrant!
Today would be the day when I'd feature a special guild member on the front page of the website. I'd post interesting facts about them, most of which I'd make up, and I'd put up screenshots of them doing fun and exciting things. It'd be awesome, intellectual and witty, yet at the same time it'd be silly and light hearted. You'd enjoy reading it. However, none of my guildmates send me screencaps. No stories, no helpful advice. Nothing.
So, instead, today's target is Cheese.
Mmm, cheese.
We all know that cheese is a delightful dairy product, but how much do you really know about this delectable fromage that goes so well with crackers:
If you want to really understand cheese, you have to go to the source, and I'm not talking about sticking my head up a cow's butt. No, cheese is essentially curdled milk, so to understand the journey that cheese makes from the farm to your plate, you must understand the curds themselves.
Where curds are from: 
The curds come mostly from the middle east, and their lands range from pockets in Turkey to as far east as Iran. They have traditionally been repressed and feared by the leadership in the countries they live in. However, with the liberataion of Iraq, curds have gained new standing in the international community. A curdish leader, Jalal Talabani, came to prominence as the president of Iraq, which is quite good for spoilt milk. Before this time, the best spoiled milk had managed to accomplish was a senate seat from Wyoming.
Curds are then allowed to age with bacteria, which is a type of very small fish. This is why cheese often smells bad. After aging, cheese is often melted in a cooking pot, and bits of other foods such as apples, bread, and meats are cooked in it. This type of cooking via sampling many different flavors in one dish helped give America it's nickname "The Great Fondue-land". This is not surprising, since America makes the best cheese, though oddly the best cheese America makes isn't American cheese, and American cheese is a type of cheese that takes like crap, much like velveeta and cheeze wiz, which was conceived as a method of removing biological waste. France also makes cheese, but nobody cares.
Next week, maybe someone'll send me in some damn pictures to talk about. Oh, and some expansion got released today - see:French Cheese.
A noc runt, a mastruq champion, and a goat lady walk into an arena. The bartender says, "Rot in hell you AE'ing knockbacking goat lady whore"
There comes a time in every guild's life when you reach one of those pivotal moments. The moments when you look back, reflect, and ponder your accomplishments. The leadership has to ask itself deep, introspective questions. Finally, the guild, after soul searching, finally comes to one conclusion, and speaks with one voice, saying:
Game over. We win. No more.
We're done. Finito. Finished. Kaput.
Uqua is on the list with that ugly girl we brought home from the bar last week. It was fun at the time, but we aren't going to call her.
So one final word from the Pickle to Uqua. Thanks for the memories, now kiss my scrawny purple pants.
Sometimes in life it's important to focus on the positive, and not the unpleasantness that follows. Underguild, sadly, didn't beat Ixt Hsek Syat on our first attempt, but we sure got close. We sure learned a lot in that first 79% of her health; one of the main things we learned is to bring more DPS. The important bit, though, is Uumaelvenx kicked The Runt's ass. Oh how he kicked it.
Zhuol tells me the important thing is that we treat shaman with the respect they deserve, but I think he's letting the whole Spirit of Panther get to his head again. Don't worry though, if he gets too full of himself, Celleste will take her shiny new Ixt Bone Scepter and stick it where the sun don't shine. And it looks like it'd hurt, too:
Our forray into Txevu this week left us with loads of weapons cluttering up the bank. Good think that epic 1.5s kick the crap out of the Txevu weapons, great planning SoE! However, they'll probably come in handy having some pretty nasty two handers floating around for the MPG trials!
Speaking of Txevu, next week we are looking up to finishing up back flagging. Expect a GoD blast, from Inki4 through Uqua, straight into Tacvi by Thursday!